Jane’s Short Story Feedback Using the RISE Model

“Jane, your short story has a captivating opening that immediately draws the reader in. The descriptive language you used to set the scene is very effective, and I could easily visualize the environment and the characters. The dialogue between characters feels natural and helps to develop their personalities well. However, there are some areas where the plot seems to slow down, which affects the overall pacing of the story.”

“I’m curious about your decision to reveal the main character’s backstory through a series of flashbacks. What inspired you to structure it this way? Additionally, how did you decide on the story’s ending? Did you consider any alternative endings, and if so, why did you choose this particular one?”

“To improve the pacing of your story, consider revising some of the slower sections. For example, you might want to condense or combine some of the flashbacks to maintain the reader’s engagement. Also, think about adding more tension or conflict in the middle sections to keep the momentum going. Enhancing these parts can help sustain the reader’s interest throughout.”

“To take your storytelling to the next level, you could experiment with different narrative techniques, such as nonlinear timelines or multiple perspectives, to add complexity and depth to your story. Also, challenge yourself to develop secondary characters further, giving them distinct arcs that intersect with the main plot. This will create a richer and more intricate narrative.”

This feedback uses the RISE Model to provide a balanced and structured critique that is aimed at helping Jane understand her strengths and areas for improvement, encouraging her to think critically about her choices, offering specific and actionable suggestions, and inspiring her to push her creative boundaries.